As moms, there will be days when we feel we have failed. It could be in that moment, or it could just be our thoughts reflecting on ourselves when we are on our own. I’m not sure about you, but I know I do.
This happened just last week. Zarra had an Open Class Day for her ballet where parents are invited to attend the class to see their children’s progress. I never miss her ballet Open Class Day ever since she started ballet 3 years ago. Guess what happened this time? Yes, I forgot.
I dropped her off to her class as usual. I did notice there was an extra crowd of parents that day but still, I did not realize it was open day. Then when I arrived to pick her up, I saw her standing in front of the studio when she hand me a mother’s day gift from the school.
I thought to myself – “Omg, her Ballet Class open day.”
I said sorry a gazillion times, hugged her and cried! I literally cried in front of all the other kids and parents. Her ballet teacher passed by us and saw me crying, I said “I forgot her open class day”. She comforted me saying it’s ok but that’s no the point.
I felt like a failure.
We went to lunch and I told my parents about it and I cried. I called my husband and told him about it and I cried. I had dinner and remembered it again, and I cried.
“That’s one hour I can never repeat or take back” and I cried again.
But Zarra said this – “It’s ok mommy. Even if you missed my ballet open class, I still love you” – I just cried more! I obviously did not get over it the same day. I can’t shake off the feelings of guilt I have in my heart. I felt so bad.
Trivial things like this, there will be moments in our lives as mothers when we feel like failures. As I reflect on this moment, I know for sure these feelings of failure, of not being good enough, of always thinking we can do better – it is all part of parenthood (yes, applies to both moms and dads).
These moments will happen and we will feel bad but we are not failures #notetoself
It is important to pick ourselves up, get over the guilt and remind ourselves that we are trying our best. There are no manuals and no SOPs when we welcome parenthood into our lives. For what it’s worth – we are all trying to be the best parents we can be.
Our own childhood memories are not based on one moment alone. Our childhood is made of a mix memories, especially the happier ones. Those are the ones that stays with us through our lives.
Happy Mother’s Day to my mom and all mothers who are reading this. We are all Wonder Woman in our own right!
Let us make a dua for our parents. This dua is for forgiveness of our parents and all Muslims.
Surah Ibrahim, 14:41O our Lord! Cover (us) with Thy Forgiveness – me, my parents and (all) Believers, on the Day that the Reckoning will be established!
رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ
By the way, back to my story – few days later Zarra’s ballet teacher called me up (she must have seen my embarrassing cry last week) and offered me to attend another Open Class session yesterday – I said “yesssss and thank youuuuu!” Alhamdulillah.